not quite the universal classroom

while in India, i am taking 6 or my remaining 9 credits at the college where i work. the first class is family and child welfare and the second class is social work in the field of health. let's be frank here, all classes are not equal. social work classes are easier than public health classes- and indian social work classes introduce the next level, if thats even possible. of course, i openly welcome this break after the hell that was my life getting an MPH in a year.

1st fun story: my health class. taught by the smaller, most adorable nun imaginable, however a nun whose bad side i would never want to be on. while normally smiling, light hearted and generous (she treated our entire class to chai one day)- i witnessed her mood do a complete 180 after another class turned in an assignment that was less than satisfactory. again, not a sister you'd want to anger- i mean, she's married to jesus. that's big time. the first day of class she started to talk to me about my background, i mentioned that i had completed the coursework for my MPH and from that point on, i became an unofficial co-teacher. she often stops class and looks at me for confirmation or clarity. it definitely keeps me on my toes and keeps me frantically searching my memory for various epidemiology formulas and public health history. it is an enjoyable class because it blends together both of my degrees. but the real reason why i love it so much? i have only one assignment, and it's a presentation on communicable and noncommunicable diseases in India. thanks to hala, i've already completed this assignment last year. the number one reason why i love this class so much? it is only lasting 5 weeks. 5 weeks. the class decided this and the sister agreed. 5 weeks. 1 assignment. 3 credits. i am not sure how that math works out, but regardless, this is a kind of math that i like.

another fun story about classes here. apparently cancellation is more common than yellow curry. so far we've had 4 weeks of classes. 2 classes each friday that only met once a week for (supposedly) three hours. so, that means i should have had a total of 8 classes so far. negative ghost rider. that pattern is far from full. so far, i've had only 4 classes. there is a 50% chance that i will have both classes each week. again, this is an example of statistics that i can get behind. the reason why classes are canceled range from hartels (strikes)- which seem to occur in higher frequency on fridays, a convenience i doubt that is a coincidence, to the day where the professor's (and the vice principal) daughter was competing in the miss kerala 2008 beauty pageant. true story. she got 2nd runner up and was awarded best smile. you can't make this stuff up- but you can make good use of a free friday afternoon. the students are pretty good about telling me (the only american in both classes) about the class cancellation. however, i've sat in an empty room by myself numerous times, figuring that something was very wrong with the situation. to which i shrugged and "carried on" (popular indian saying) my merry little way.

however, my best class story occurred this past friday. now, those that know me in an academic setting know something about me that those that know me in a non-academic setting may not be aware of. i have been known, a time or two, to be a bit of a procrastinator/slacker. a slight procrastinator- i stress slight (i also stress that i've been known to exaggerate a slight bit as well). seriously, little bell singlehandedly caused my first grad school attempt to fail by tempting me with barnes and nobles runs during class time. however, for the record, i am not that girl here in india. i am the opposite extreme. the mother of the 2nd miss kerala 2008 runner up, Dr. Mary Joesph- feels that i'm a great student. the rest of the class- feels that i'm a great kiss-up (and pain in their ass). the first week of class Dr. MJ gives us 2 assignments. i, in true turner form do not do these assignments by the next week when i thought the assignments were due because both of my classes were meeting at the same time. so in choosing which class to attend, i chose the class that i did not have an assignment due that i had not yet completed. the next friday, class canceled due to the pageant. so here it was- the 4th week. 2 assignments given, zero turned in. i finally completed the assignments, meekly printed then out and took them to Dr. MJ- fully believing I am the last one to turn them in. she looks over my work and greatly praises it. does not mention the late aspect. i leave and head to class, feeling quite pleased with my academic accomplishments. when i left Dr. MJ- she was smiling and good natured. when she arrived 2 minutes later to the class room- her entire demeanor changed. and it was de-mean alright.

• Dr MJ: "i gave you two assignements week one correct?"
• Class- shocked by the cold unfriendly entrance- hesitating: "um...yes ma'am."
• Dr MJ: "what were they?"
• Class- shuffling through papers and quietly mumbling both assignments.
  
• Dr MJ: "well? where are they?"
• Sara- shrinking down in seat, realizing with horror that this is all my fault.
• Class- silent.
• Dr MJ- voice getting louder: "where is it?"
• Class- silent.
• Dr MJ- launching a full out rant: "You are master level student, what is wrong with you that you can't complete an assignment?"
• Crickets/Lizards/Mosqutioes and other classroom life- deathly silent.
• Sara- starting hard at the ground, wishing invisibility was an option, repeatedly thinking in head "please don't say my name, please don't say my name, please don't say my name."
• Dr MJ: "i am terribly disappointed in each one of you. (pointing at me) SARA turned it in. SARA completed it. Why didn't you? Is she a better student? Is she smarter? She doesn't even speak our language and she did the assignment."
• Sara- visibly flinching each time Dr MJ overly pronounces my name. Somehow I managed to sink even further into my seat, staring intently down.
  
• Class- all heads span around to stare at me. a spotlight illuminates over my head, a thousand pairs of dagger eyes bore holes through my skull.
• Dr MJ- continues without noticing the death stares turning my skin to stone for another 3 minutes telling the class what horrible students they were.

yeah, that really happened. there is no recovering from that. what's funny is that its probably the worst paper i had ever written. i'm not even sure i actually did the assignment correctly. and here i am, now pigeon holed as "that girl" the girl that everyone hates, the one who turns in assignments early and asks for extra tests and assignments just for 'practice.' ugh. amazing, because everything about me is so not that girl- but either way, i so do not have any friends in that class.