vanity fair

yesterday i went with two other UMB kids, and our wonderful new australian friends on a field trip of sorts. we were supposed to visit the other rajagiri campus (engineering and technology) and at the last minute were told that we were going to 'stop by' another campus for a 'brief informal meeting with the students.' having been in india long enough, i knew that neither of the above were true. i knew instead that this meant it was going to be very formal (we got roses upon our arrival, the president of the school made a speech and we sat in chairs on a stage in front of about 60 students) and very long (it was about 3 hours). not so good considering impending deadlines of field, but good when accounting the chai and fried bananas, and totally worth it to hear jeremy belt out "a whole new world" a cappella on the stage by himself, because of course, there was a cultural performance and we were expected to do something. jer bailed the americans out (which we love him for), but left the sleep deprived jet-lagged austrians on their own to crank out a... special version of the aussie national anthem.

anyway, all day long i had a feeling of deja-vu. i felt like i was there before and had experienced the same situation. later, only after looking at brochures for the college did i learn this was true. i had done it before. the exact same experience, same room, same roses even. my UMB group from january 2007 was featured front and center of the brochure for the entire school! the greatest part is that this picture was taken during our 'cultural performance', and therefore in this picture, we are currently singing 'lean on me'. if you look really hard you can see a corner of myself on the far right, desperately avoiding the mic for the sake of everyone else in the room. i'd like to point out my love carolyn on the far left, clapping to the beat, julia in the bright blue rocking the mic...and the song, and liz in the middle, singing her heart out. good job ladies, way to make the US proud. it was a hilarious discovery, one that once the principal discovered, made very public. quite an experience. so it just goes to show you that what happens in india...will be documented via camera and will live on for eternity.

sweet sorrow

it seems to me that there is never a good or "right" time to say goodbye. the finality of goodbye never matches the fleeting actuality of the event. it never goes quite the way that you envisioned it. i've learned that i'm terrible at goodbyes. i always seem to be too busy, too distracted, too attached or too distant, too angry, too sad, too eager, too awkward, too unprepared, or too unwilling.

we've started to "terminate" our relationships here. terminate. what a terrible social work word. in our field, at the end of services, we terminate with our clients and we terminate the relationship that we have built with them. and that's what we have to do here. its part of the experience, part of the "job".

but how to say goodbye to people we've invested ourselves in for 6 months, people we've lived with, people we've laughed with, cried with, and grown with? how do you say goodbye to an entire culture, an entire country? answers to these questions i do not possess, so i continue in my standard sub par form of goodbye, which always seems to fall short and never quite honors the full extent of the relationship, or adequately expresses how much i valued it. i know that saying goodbye to come here was difficult, and here again, half a year later, i find that the thought of saying goodbye to return back home is already proving wearisome. life here cannot be continued as is without acknowledging the giant 'termination' lurking around the corner, inching nearer with each passing day.

last night i was invited over to my supervisors house for a final dinner and a form of goodbye. i say goodbye to half of my UMB family november 4th, and to the rest of them a few weeks later. i say my final goodbyes at CASP in december. i'll say goodbye at the ashram after a month long teacher training which will be yet another difficult goodbye. it saddens me to even think about saying goodbye to our house family that has truly become our family this year. and the harsh reality that these relationships will never be the same again, never the way that they are right now, in this circumstance, this instance. and the vast majority of goodbyes to people here will in fact be irrevocable, and those goodbyes seem to be the most daunting and severe in their finality.

it seems that life is a perpetual revolving door of investing wholly into relationships and their impending and unavoidable termination. but thus is life i suppose, and at the end of the day, i need to acknowledge and accept that each relationship and even their subsequent goodbye is in fact, a gift.

"so dawn goes down to day.
nothing gold can stay."
-frost

location, location, location

here is a brief overview of where i'll be for the next 2 and a half months. not too shabby if i may say so myself, and i will say so myself. i'll update and give you a play by play of where i'm doing, what i'll be doing, and who i'll be with at a later date, just to keep the jealously seething. it's what i do best. i'm sending out 2008 with a bang. a bang and numerous numerous adventures.

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i've also been meaning to post about serval major cultural differences between american and india before i leave and forget all about it. so feel free to make sure i do that.

loving missing and anticipating

i love:
YOU, india, dinners with our Indian family, my UMB family, cherai beach, videos from home featuring taylor and noa, thunderstorms at night, samosas, sweedish fish, arrested development during blackouts, photography, paris, yoga, parotas, public health work, adventures and exploration, barock obama, the turners...

i miss:
YOU, america, my 1371 girls, my b'more loves, taylor and noa, pumpkin spice lattes, pizza, starbucks, my matrix, fall weather, football-football-football, cookies, my roommate, my roommate's amazing house, thai food, nights out in b'more, my bed, wine, hot showers, the turners...

i can't wait for:
YOU, scuba certification, travel with my squirrels, yoga teacher training certification, christmas with scott, new years with the turners, seeing the taj, the election, the 1371 reunion, reunions with everyone else, graduation!, D.C., getting a grown-up job, moving HOME...

disclaimer- this blog was written late night in about 4 minutes. it was meant to include indian things that i love, american things that i miss, and upcoming adventures that i am looking forward to. it was not meant to exclude anyone or anything, so i have added in "you" on every category, just to make sure there are no hurt feelings. i love you all, miss you all, and can't wait to see you all. happy now?

the evil monkey

We took a day trip to Munnar with our family this past weekend. It was Ingrid’s birthday and with the stress consistently increasing, we felt it was a good time to get away, even if just for the day. We rented the most uncomfortable vehicle imaginable and all 8 of us piled in with the driver. It was a wonderful day filled with mountains, tea, cooler weather and wild goats, monkey and elephants. One of the above almost gave me rabies. Not the tea, don’t worry. True story:

The last time we had an encounter with Indian monkeys was one of my very first days in India. We were ‘tagging along’ with another schools program, but the group was small, so small in fact that it only consisted of 2 students and 2 teachers. Our UMB6 quickly overpowered them, and in the course of talking to the teachers, found out that they so lovingly referred to their students as “Thing One and Thing Two.” Now that’s the kind of esteem and respect you hope to find in a potential future job reference. Anyway, long story short, we arrived at the waterfalls, and Thing Two decides it’s a good time to lean out of the window and take a picture. Bad, bad timing for her. Good timing for the monkey who had just made his own “Thing Two’ into his hand and was looking for the nearest victim to relive his excrement on. Thing Two, met number two. All over your arm. Needless to say, Thing Two did NOT handle it well, and it instantly became a classic story in our group. So this is my latest impression of monkeys, my first impression of the poo-throwing/candy-stealing monkeys my family encountered in Africa only served to reinforce my disdain and constant suspicion of the naked butt beasts. Not cute, not something I want to be friends with. Family guy nailed it with their portrayal. However, dear Ingrid did not share this viewpoint. We had stopped at some waterfall on our journey to higher elevations, and had gotten down to take some pictures. After a minute or two, Ingrid suggests that we go get closer to the group of monkeys on the side of the road. My first reaction was a strong empathetic no!, however, it was her birthday and she assured me that I would not get poo thrown at me. So we ventured closer. And a little closer. There was a little baby monkey that despite my hesitation, was rather cute. Two of the monkeys were wrestling with each other and in their play, also moving closer to us. Before we realized it, they were really close. Really close. So close they suddenly froze mid-play. As we locked eyes, I remember thinking “This isn’t going to end well.” Ingrid and I both had one of the slow motion moments where you know you need to react fast, but you are stuck in a trance. The two monkeys crouched down and I kid you not, started to growl at us. Never knew monkeys could do that, but I’m here to tell you it happens. And than they leaped off the wall. Charging directly at us. A thought crossed my mind about the 8 consecutive extremely painful rabies shots in my rear and how that would most certainly ruin the day for us. Ingrid however, reacted slightly different. She screamed. And not just any scream…three to be exact. Each increasing in volume, length and intensity. The last shriek may have had the ability to break glass. Around the 2nd or 3rd scream she totally pulled a George from Seinfield move and PUSHED ME in the way of the monkey charging us. Fantastic. I managed to pry myself from Ingrid’s kung fu grasp and started to sprint- arms failing like an idiot (or like pheobe) away from the rabies infected beasts. However, at this point, I lose my shoe. I look back to see lost shoe and two monkeys chasing us and get the terrifying realization that they just might pick up my shoe and disappear into the wilderness with it. And considering that I only have 2 pairs here, that would be bad news bears. So I turned around and started back with the decision that come hell or rabies, I was going to retrieve that shoe. Turns out, the monkeys were just as scared of us as we were of them, and immediately retreated. I retrieved my shoe and turned around to find that the whole country of India was staring at us. And laughing. And so we were. Laughing and trembling. Without fail, every time we thought about that for the rest of the day (and even now) we would burst into laughter. Definitely the highest of comedy.

The rest of the day was quite enjoyable due to the beautiful weather, beautiful scenery, beautiful company…and lack of infectious diseases.

in honor of ingrid, for pulling a 'george'

the actual monkey, seconds before he leapt off the wall towards me baring his teeth.

overheard in india...part II

a conversation from our recent goa adventures. first day on the beach, we were laying out, soaking up the rays. everyone once in a while (on average, every 2.3 seconds) a group of women would come up to us in attempts to sell us some worthless crap that we didn't want. their selling technique was quite simple in its brilliance, start up conversation and continue to persist relentlessly until our will to live was shattered and we would be forced to buy a cheap anklet in exchange for a moment of silence. our normal defense mechanism against them was to pretend like we were sleeping until they go away. this woman did not believe our shut-eyed ploy (maybe it was because we were clearly laughing so hard our entire bodies were shaking) and decided to sit down and start up a conversation. enclosed is the transcript.

woman vendor: "hello. how are you."
undisclosed UMB student: "okay."
woman vendor: "where you coming from?"
undisclosed UMB student: "America."
woman vendor: "how long you been here?"
undisclosed UMB student: "we just got here today."
woman vendor: "oh okay. that's why you so white. like a chicken."
jessic...opps, undisclosed UMB student: "...thank you. yes, that is why."
woman vendor- finally figures out that she will not make any sales after comparing her potential costumer to poultry and wonders off to harass someone else.

*on another note, this same undisclosed student got a sunburn that first day, leaving her 'chicken' body rather red. another one in our group decided to so lovingly call her 'fricassee chicken.' great fun. we really do love each other...promise.

this conversation brings up another point. the decline of our english speaking abilities. i realized that we have abandoned our normal speaking ways and adapted to the indian-english dialogue when we were in our house (just with american students) and my phone in the other room started to ring, i asked completely seriously, not on purpose: "ericka. my phone. you have?" oh grammar at it's finest. here's hoping i revert back quickly in january or else they might not give me my degrees after all.

good day. you all have.

europe excursions in oh eight

travel breaks down a kind of inner structure we have. stripped of our props, deprived of our masks, we are completely on the surface of ourselves." -camus

greetings to all you beautiful people. sorry for my long absence. where to start? i have returned from my extended traveling holiday and immediately was thrown into the stress of internship’s impending end that surprisingly is lurking right around the corner. its hard to believe that we are actually on the 'final stretch' of our time here, but in reality the weeks and months continue to fall with increasing rapidness from the calendar, pushing us very close to november, and thus the end. so needless to say, the stress mounts and the pressure increases. but alas, i will save that discussion until later, and i will return to the blogging business at hand of attempting to provide a (somewhat brief) update of my past several weeks.

just for the record- travel in my eyes is considered a privilege and not a right. some have the wonderlust bug in their system, some do not- none the best or the worse. i've been blessed to be able to travel enough at this stage of my life that i've realized that this is not a fleeting affair that will be satisfied by a specific rendezvous, but instead, a lifelong relationship that will always exist. again, i digress, all of this to say that my predictable restlessness had set in, and the desire to travel once again reared its tempting head. so therefore, i forewent a decent amount of my hard earned (loan) money, many dependable nights sleep, a consistent reliable schedule and the comforts of home and instead ventured out and boarded first a train for goa and soon following, a plane bound for amsterdam. i loaded up my backpack and equipped myself with travel books, bikinis, sunscreen and sweatshirts and scarves to accommodate both beach and fall weather. most importantly, i was equipped with the greatest traveling partners a girl could hope for. the moral of the story- september not only lived up to its remarkably high expectations, it vastly exceeded them. here's the run down organized into location/countries:

goa: oh goa. so very different than kerala. while clearly still in india, it felt like a world away. where kerala is conservative, goa is liberal. where kerala closes up and goes to bed at a reasonable hour, goa is the indian city that doesn't sleep…ever. where kerala covers up with salwars and churidars, goa supports bikinis and mini skirts. it was different to say the least but we enjoyed the freedom that goa offered and adjusted quickly. we spent our days in goa lounging on the beach, applying sunscreen and flipping to ensure even tans (sunburns for some white ‘chickens’), enjoying simple luxuries and recovering from the trails of rural camp. we spent our nights in goa in quality restaurants, searching for clubs that played hip hop music instead of techno/trance and dancing the nights away accompanied by whatever foreign friends we made that night. we created many stories and experiences that will be protected by the sacred bond of travel secrecy and will not be repeated, especially not via blog. moral of the story, despite initial hesitations, overall goa did not disappoint. the level of sadness i felt upon departing my UMB crew was surprising, it was the first time in 4 months that i was not constantly by their side. my mind played tricks on me at first and during my flight to amsterdam, i could have sworn that i was hearing jessica speaking behind me, and the girl up ahead looked remarkably like ingrid. apparently we’ve all become a little codependence…and a little crazy. can’t think of a better group to be both with.

amsterdam: welcome to europe. to be honest, i can sum up my time in amsterdam with two simple words that pack a powerful punch: culture shock. intense culture shock. i don't think i realized it at the time, but looking back i realize that i spent my brief time there in a haze of amazement and general confusion. i think this is proven in the simple fact that i have no pictures from my time in amsterdam, all of my energy was spent trying to readjust and adapt as quickly as possible. in the course of one day i went from a developing country that has become my home over 4 months, to sitting in an apartment, taking warm showers, eating peanut butter directly from the jar and watching CNN. none of which exist in india. in addition i was riding a bike (or feebly clinging onto the back of heathers bike for dear life) swerving through holland traffic, all the while thinking about how attempting the same thing on an indian road would equal immediate death. …to be fair, riding a bike in amsterdam did result in one minor accident, but it was a slight collision, not near fatal. i also got to experience good italian food, wine (WINE!), and coffee shops. all accompanied with picturesque streets, canals, and perfect fall weather. we visited the van gough museum, which was really fantastic, even without starry night. while perfectly content to remain in amsterdam until oktoberfest, we decided last minute (literally, an hour before the train left) to pack another bag and head for france. not a bad decision, but thus ending the amsterdam chapter of the trip. i can see why visiting amsterdam was a lifelong goal of my love rachel.

paris: scott has a theory that every girl looooooves paris. and i must admit i cannot dispel this belief. we spent the 3 hour train journey in giddy expectation of all thing paris and brushed up on our expert french language skills. we had a slight damper on our excitement upon arriving and being unable to find a single hostel with an available room, although heather was impressive with her persistent phone calls and french skills. we finally abandoned the traditional method of booking and took to the streets, figuring worst case scenario we would sleep in the train station. we roamed the paris streets, enjoying the sights and stopping only to study a map or to buy exceptional baguettes. luck or karma was on our side and we managed to secure a tiny little hostel for the night for a reasonable 50 euroes (good in france, horrible in india). and for the record, i do mean tiny. i will never forget the night of my ‘shook sandwich’ experience. anyway, we threw our bags on the barely double bed and bolted for the door. of course, our first destination was the eiffel tower. it was a long but enjoyable walk and well worth the delighted carrie bradshaw squeal i let out at the first sight of the tower. we hung around till after midnight watching various french couples and enjoying all of the different light shows the tower had to offer us. the next day was a day of perfect paris bliss, hitting all the major sightseeing stops- including finding the decapitated head of st. dennis on norte dame, having the worlds greatest picnic (this is a fact, i did the research myself) complete with cheese, chocolates, wine, fruit and espresso, and enjoying a perfect french day. a better day is difficult to imagine and a large part of me was sad to board an overnight train to munich and leave the city of love. but alas, oktoberfest beckoned and we had no choice but to respond to the call. so bonjour to pari, onward and upwards.

munich: following a sound sleep on the train from paris, we arrived in munich delirious and feeling the effects of the previous day’s wine. then we saw salvation in caffeinated form. green and white glory. my first starbucks in over 4 months. my day was already set, couldn’t get any better. the delightful hazelnut latte helped to warm me from the inside out to fend off the frigid germany weather. four months in indian heat sweating constantly had definitely thinned my blood. we weren’t sure of the location of the fairgrounds, but figured that following the countless lederhosen was a good place to start. the crowds lead us to our destination, oktoberfest. the size of this festival was truly incredible, apparently 6 million of fellow beer enthusiasts had accompanied us to our destination. we wondered around for a bit, overwhelmed by the vastness of it all and not sure of which tent to honor with our presence. we ended up on the augestiener tent which was hailed as a “local favorite.” we figured the locals couldn’t be wrong, so we headed in. such a good decision. the tents officially opened at 10am and we were there for that occurrence. they rang the bell and the first round of steins went out. we managed to find a table that was not reserved and set up camp- a camp that would not be moved until the tent closed. from that point on, the day was a blur of pretzels, chicken, sausage, prosts (cheers), country roads, lederhosen, cleavage and more steins. a highlight was three people that requested to sit with us that turned out to be from baltimore! heather’s friends from law school also showed up and quickly our table formed fast oktoberfest friendships, exchanging emails and promising videos and pictures…and baltimore and san fransciso outings. we quickly learned the standard german prost song and sang and cheers’ed ourselves into the night. a surprising realization was the germans looooove the song country roads (and sweet home alabama to a slightly less extent). seriously. the entire tent was standing on tables (totally standard) swaying and singing along at the top of their lungs. great fun. upon the closing of the tents, we ventured out into the slightly rainy cold weather and explored the vast carnival oktoberfest had to offer. heather decided that we needed to ride the extra tall swings in this less than ideal weather. the verdict is still out if this was a good decision or not, but either way, the pictures from it are priceless. we crashed with desa, heather’s friend for the night and after a very expensive, yet satisfying breakfast the following morning, we decided to return to the scene of the crime the following morning before our train left. we enjoyed a warmer day and managed to squeeze in another round and another pretzel while walking around the fairgrounds before departing. all in all, 6 million people can’t be wrong, and oktoberfest was as good its reputation boasts.

prague: yet another train journey, this time not as enjoyable as the previous sans the food and drink car and minus comfortable bunks for sleeping. however we braved the 8 hour journey and arrived near starvation in the former soviet…and found it to be very soviet. we deciphered the money exchange and metro system and suddenly found ourselves in the middle of a very alive town despite it being around midnight. we feasted on some amazing falafel, checked into our hostel, and managed a quick jaunt around town and a quick round in before calling it a night. everything looked new and fresh after a full nights sleep and i was not prepared for the greatness of prague as a whole, much less than the perfect day this city had in store for us. we had no agenda, no rush, and perfect weather. we wondered the streets and stumbled upon ancient churches (built waaay before 1994), castles, bridges, rivers and even statues of peeing men. desa and her book served as our tour guide, providing us story times along the way and we stopped anytime we desired, regardless of if it was for gelato, to gaze over the entire city, to take an action shot, or for wine and cheese at a stunning little cliffside restaurant. we eventually found ourselves at a waterside restaurant which provided us with nutrients, live music, and my personal favorite beer of the entire trip. we watched a beautiful sunset, enjoyed more beers, watched a brief fireworks show and even requested the musician to play ‘country roads’ for nostalgia’s sake. it was a good decision, and once again, all of the germans in prague joined us in standing on tables and signing along. from there the ‘night was yet a pup’ and with a rendition of ‘knocking on heaven’s door’ we released our dancing selves into the streets for more shenanigans and tomfoolery and general chaos and mayhem (no, not the name of my future pugs). sadly my flight was early the next morning, but the prague nightlight was all it was cracked up to be and i spent my final night in pure bliss and denial of my upcoming departure. unfortunately my denial did not prevent the alarm from going off at 4:30am and scott and i managed to find our way to the airport despite our bleary eyes and sleep deprivation. the goodbyes came and before i knew it, i was back on the plane, headed back towards india.

i arrived monday morning and experienced the challenge of returning to a developing country after taking a trip of a lifetime through europe. not the easiest thing to do, but i have adjusted once again to this country and am loving being back, especially surrounded again by my UMB favs. so that’s the long and short of my europe travels, hope you all enjoyed. and of course, like always, the pictures are on flickr so you can lurk and look and put names and face and places together. all in all, it quite possibly may have been the greatest trip ever. ever. ever.